Monday, February 19, 2007

Sudden-Asshole Syndrome

After much admonishment from friends and family I am actually “writing” a blog. Whoopty-doo. I’ve been coming down with some sort of bizarre cold that makes me feel like shite one second and completely fine the next so I never know from moment to moment how I’m going to feel. I can feel the mucous man in his wife-beater setting up shop in my lungs and thanks to that vile Mucinex commercial I have that very vivid imagery in brain.

In addition to being slightly ill I’ve also been “slightly” depressed. I’m starting to wonder if getting off of birth control was really the best idea. I’ve been fairly moody of late, to say nothing of my laziness, fatness or general all around mannishness. I’m seriously checking my face every day for any trace signs of appearing masculinity. Hormone imbalances are real y’all and I don’t want to take any chances. The other day I was certain that my shoulders were beginning to look positively line-backer-ish….and the mustache – well, I don’t want to talk about it. Mustache, weight-gain, zits and depression aside I feel I’m doing pretty fucking awesome.

My depression could also be chalked up to the shooting last week at Salt Lake’s Trolley Square mall. Trolley is mere blocks away from my home and I have spent many hours inside and out. I have a’ gazillion brilliant memories in that place and I’m struggling with the idea that something so horrific took place there. I would like to respectfully move on but having to write about it for New West is definitely taking its toll. I haven’t written anything in depth at all yet because the simple robo-tron-AP-wire-type things I have posted have already drawn a disturbing and hideous crowd. If you wonder at all if racism and religious bigotry still exist, just take a gander at the comment section of any stories about this shooting. Some of the rhetoric spewed within has made me literally sick to my stomach. Some want to know why the media isn’t reporting that Sulejman Talovic (the killer) was Muslim – which, okay if it weren't reported, how would they know it in the first place? They claim that the mainstream=liberal media dropped the story after his religion was revealed. I would argue that the mainstream media dropped the story because Talovic has not, as of yet been named as another potential father of Anna-Nicole’s baby. Others want to know why we won’t just call the shooting either a case of “Sudden-Jihad Syndrome” or Islamo-terrorism. Could be the lack of proof of such motivations, but I’m just guessing. They want to know why I won’t just acknowledge that we are “at war with Muslims.” One guy even – and I shit not- asked me if I had forgotten 9/11. The fuck? Look, if anything - the kid suffered from a case of Sudden-Asshole Syndrome - which is a real syndrome because I have a blog and I say so. At any rate, I’m tired of thinking about it and/or feeling like I have to answer to the questions of non-Utahn political fuckwads when I’m still trying to get the images of my dead neighbors out of my head.

Wow – that actually made me feel better. See, I can’t call them fuckwads over on New West I have to play nice and pretend their opinions aren’t disgusting. See, I should blog more on my own blog.

One last thing, because now that you’ve got me going and it’s 1:50 in the morning…I recently found this awesome piece by the late-great Molly Ivins. It’s her take on Camille Paglia’s Sexual Personae and it fucking rules. I want to be her when I grow up or at least I'd like to have her ghost sit on my shoulder like a guardian angel…like a muse and give me the strength and the balls to say what I’d really like to say all of the time.


Samaha said...

I appreciate the stance that New West has taken in regards to the Salt Lake's Trolley Square Mall shooting both in reporting and in the comments section.

That is the difference between a professional news source and an ameteur wannabe. The professionals take responsiblity and there is also accountability to how they portray a story.

Let's face it, tommorow if it turns out this was just another asshole in a trench coat (much like the Columbine incident) the wannabes are not going to be stressing that they jumped the gun, that they made mistakes. Instead their stories will flood the internet and anyone wanting to get to the bottom of the story will have to go on for endless pages before comming to an unbiased site. All this does is create hyseria, phobia and promotes racism and bigotry.

I'm not sure how many cases there have been with Bosnians being harrassed at work because of this incident, but you can rest easy at night knowing that you had nothing to do with creating an environment that promoted that. You are a responsible human being.

I'm also sure that if tommorow there is a link between this shooter and Islamists - that you will also report that like a responsible reporter would.

I hope you feel better soon and don't sweat the small stuff. You, my dear, have acted in an appropriate manner.

Melissa said...

When I went off the pill I lost my mind! I had GIANT zits that threatened to take over the world, and I was a depressed mess. Since I have had a mustache since puberty, it simply became more thick and lustrous. I considered buying it its own comb. I got pregnant two months later and then the shit really hit the fan.
Anyway, I just thought you should know you are not alone in all the joys of coming down off an estrogen high.

p.s. I have been reading your blog for a while and I am delurking! We met ages and ages ago.