Tuesday, December 12, 2006

My deep sexual desire for David Boreanaz

It's one of the most annoying facets of human nature; the difference between women and men when it comes to sex and sexual desire. The supposed "need" men have to stare at pictures of strange and in most cases completely nasty porny women they would normally mock has always baffled me. On some intellectual level I understand it, but still find myself completely grossed out or to use my mom's term, dissappointed when men, who seem above such things succumb to the basest, lamest aspects of their nature. Basically it bums me out, but more interestingly it makes me wish that women could be just as disgusting...just to prove a point.
I wish I could get all jacked up looking at pictures of bent over man ass and random scrotum shots, but, no...I have to be all mature and female about it. I can't just look at body parts and feel something. It's not fair. I need vulnerability and intelligence and bad-ass-ness...I need personality....(basically I need Dr. Who or Jack Bauer)...but, still...it's more of a tender longinig for those characters, those fake dudes to be happy, I rarely imagine them bending me over a chair, if you know what I mean. And that in itself is fundamentally unjust.
Women feel hurt, inadequate, insecure and ugly when the men in their lives get all lustified over other/ (gross) slutty chicks and men will never understand why because there are no equitable arguments for women to make. Women can't say, "Well, how would you feel if...?" because men know it's an empty threat. They know if a woman is looking at dongs, it's typically for the funny and not the sexy.
But, I think I'm going to try. I think if I stare at David Boreanaz' nips long enough, I might begin to feel a little jazzy in my no-no places. We'll see. For the sake of feminist equality. I'm willing to give it a shot.

1 comment:

Jimi said...

It is an unfortunate holdover of our evolution that men are so visual about sex. I don't think I am as bad as many (perhaps most) dudes in that regard, but it's there nonetheless. I will say this though - I'm really disappointed in our current fascination with thongs (the so-called "whale tail" in the parlance of our times). Every time I see a thong (which, sadly, is often when you're on a college campus), I just flash to a) how bad that thing must smell, being up 'gainst an ass and all and b) how damnably uncomfortable that motherfucker must be. And strip clubs? That shit's gotta stop. It's like going to a restaurant, ordering your favorite meal, and then, when the waiter puts in front of you, you can't eat it. What the fuck is that shit? Men gotta pay to get more horny? And kinda cheat on their wives to do it? WEIRD.

These statements were why people thought I was gay in high school, by the way. And yes, I would be saying all of this if you were male too.