Thursday, April 13, 2006

From Florida

I'm in my mom's home office in West Palm Beach, typing on a computer with like the hugest windows I've ever seen. I do believe my mom is going blind.
Let me give this piece of advice; if you have to fly somewhere, do whatever it takes, including sucking the cock of a crack-hobo to make your journey in less than three plane changes.
The flight from SLC to Denver felt like (and I honestly don't mean this as crass as it's going to sound, but it's 1am so what the fuck?) it was being driven by developmentally disabled kids who got the keys to the bus.
The second flight was fine, barring the showing of "RUMOR HAS IT," which has proven once and for all that romantic comedies can in fact cause air-rage. Why in the name of God, would Jenn Aniston let Kevin Costner touch her with his 10 ft pole, when said pole had already touched her dead mother (while she was still living presumably, though this movie is so gross and wrong, it wouldn't seem out of place to add a little necrophelia) and her motherfucking grandmother!??!! I want to borrow a quote from the TWOP Veronica Mars recap from last week when I say, "Yikes. Forever."
I mercifully fell asleep right after the scene where Jenn wakes up in his charisma-less bed. Blech. My eyes.
I was an old pro by plane number three, even though I had to sit in between a woman who was entirely gold from head to toe (gold hair, gold skin, gold sweater, gold jewelry, gold shoes, gold bag) and a larger man who wouldn't stop obsessing over the fact that I didn't want to put my bag in the overhead bin.
Remind me, when I'm less tired to tell you about my experience with racial profiling in Denver and the 500 soldiers headed to Kuwait in Atlanta...oh and how the Atlanta airport is the fucking shit.
Stan and Walt's mother and sisters are so cute, I want to eat them up. They're like little mini-mes, because they are quite literally half the size of the BIG S and the BIG W, which will be their names from now on.
Okay, it's bed time for me. Please forgive any spelling or grammar problems, my mother filled me with rum and coke the second I walked in the door and it's been a very long day. Too long to edit...so, gives us some slack.
Tomorrow: haircut and family dinner to celebrate my baby sister's 21st birthday.
Stay tuned for pictures.

Oh and before I go to bed....I miss my Larsy. There were about a thousand times today where I thought, I wish Lars was here. He's my best friend and I literally had to wait until I was this tired to even try to sleep without him.

1 comment:

Kinza said...

Hey Tracy!! Miss you at work. You're missing out on all the fun. Aren't you jealous that I get to play with all the orders all on my own?? Just kidding! I'm glad you got out of here. Have fun.