Fuckety fuck duck

It's so fucking hot in here. Something is broken (Again) and so like, tough titties for the underpaid, no respected fucktards who labor here. It's something like 80 fuckedy degrees and my fingers are so puffy and swollen I literally can't get my wedding ring off. (I attempted taking it off so I could lotion my puffy and now very dry, sticky, sweaty hands, so at least I can stop smelling like a sweat sock). But no. My face feels like it's taken a dip in some bacon grease and like someone replaced my eyeballs with cotton balls. My nostrils are burning, my throat feels swollen even though I've had 2 liters of water. I'm getting sleepy...very sleepy. I'm afraid to just give in and nap though...what if we're being drugged? (We'll show those ungrateful fucking state workers to be unsatisfied with their fucking worthless 2.5% raise during our billion dollar surplus. Fuck them.) Like seriously. What if we're like the people on Miranda? (If you haven't seen the movie Serenity (and are therefore not a total nerd) then you should so you can get my delirious nerd jokes. What if they're trying to make us so hot and uncomfortable that we just give up. I don't want to turn into beef jerky. I really don't.