Puppy-whipped!*

Back at work. I'm sorry that I wrote that doom and gloom post and then just left everyone hanging. I got really sick over the holiday, bwa bwa). Things are fine for now. We haven't talked to our manager lately, but the owner did see Lars with the little dude on Christmas day and she didn't say anything. We're just going to ride it out for now and if we have to move, we'll move. I'm sure you'll all want to help (ha!).
I've been thinking about all of my friends with kids lately and I really don't know how you do it. I'm in awe...I'm amazed. Clearly, I'm a ridiculous idiot who is currently sitting at her desk aching for her stay-at-home puppy, but there is also this confusing feeling of relief. Being at work means being free just for a little while. I can only imagine what taking care of another human being feels like... I can only speculate about the conflicting emotions mothers must feel. It makes me really grateful for my own mom. (Hi mom!)
At 30, I'm really starting to wonder if I will ever have my own kids. Will I be able to? (I do have some biological obstacles) I used to think that I would turn a certain age and magically feel "ready." That hasn't happened yet. It could have something to do with America's failing economy and the fact that I'm just not going to "marry rich," but, I think it has much more to do with my own feelings of inadequacy and self doubt. Yeah, I think I'll start with the dog.
My poor nameless little dog. He's grown a ton, mostly in the head region, but he's getting stronger and cuter daily. The cats are learning to deal. Klaus is actually feeling some love. He and the little dude took a nap together yesterday and I literally thought I might be harmed by the nuclear rays of cuteness.
I've gotten NO knitting done whatsoever. Now that I think about it, I haven't gotten anything done in lo these many does. Sigh.
Being sick has forced me inward. I think I spent all day yesterday lying flat on my back, watching a marathon of Who's Wedding Is it ANYWAY? on the style network. Sad. Sad. Sad.
Ok, well, work calls. I've got a stack of orders staring at me with their sad little puppy dog eyes.



*title by Shannon