Resolution

It's another new year and yeah, I'm up late and feeling pensive. I suppose watching Bloodsport will do that to a girl. I've never been one to make New Year's resolutions; I never keep the fuckers and just wind up feeling like a failure in the end. Aren't we all big enough disappointments to ourselves without the staged set-up of a public resolution? But, then I've realized that over the past 5 months or so I've started to do something I've never done before...I've become one of those people who talks about her weight. On some level I think I'm being tough; like fuck off, yeah I'm fat...there I've said it so you don't have to. But, that's just it...I'm not being tough, I'm being a total poos-ay. I'm preemptively insulting myself like a douchebag. I hate it and I've never done it before in my entire life of chubbiness. I realize that I'm just shocked at how much weight I've gained in the past year and it's a pretty pretarded amount, let me tell yous... and I believe I've finally reached that limit that says...okay, we've gone straight past pleasantly chubby and turned the corner right into fat-ass alley. Don't get me wrong, I'm not some fat-girl sell out. I've been fat for years and always felt totally hot...but, lately not so much. I just DO NOT want to be one of those women who gets married and "lets" herself "go." I don't want to be that fat girl with the cute husband. Speaking of which, Lars is totally skinnier than ever and I think he's secretly putting his lost fat on me while I sleep.

So, the point of all this you ask... why, a New Year's resolution of course. Does anyone have any cocaine I can borrow...I hear that's how they do it these days.
Just kidding. No, really.