Wednesday, May 02, 2007

King of Queens is silently killing my soul

No thanks to Belkin - our home internet is back up and running. We've had that piece of crap router for less than 8 months and it just decided to stop working yesterday. Not that it's ever worked well. We were constantly setting and resetting that mother-effer...and seriously - as Lars put it, it looked and felt like it came right out of a cracker-jack box. I suppose you really get what you pay for when you buy a $30 piece of equipment whose sole purpose is to make "dump-surfing"(1) possible.
Anyway, so $100 and a missed first 15 minutes of Top Model later and we're all up and running again. Thanks Linskeys - don't punk out on me.

I've been fighting off a cold or the worst allergy attack in the world for several days now. This morning I woke up with more goop in my eye than a Seven-Dolla hooker. I won't even get into what my throat feels like. Ugh. So, yes - despite our financial windfall ('s less of a fall and more of a brief crawl out of the ditch sort of thing - but, you catch my drift) I've been in a tremendously shitty mood. I honestly can't explain it. It might have something to do with the two ankle twising/ knee cracking falls I've taken over the past two weeks. (Both highly painful and embarrassing). It could be the afore mentioned cold/allergy thing. It could be that I'm about to enter Pon'far(2).

I don't bloody know, mate. I'm also having some major memory failure again. (Yes, again motherfuckers - don't try me). The most embarrassing and inexplicable example? I can't remember my debit card pin #. I've had it for almost 3 months and have been using it like a champ. Suddenly, this morning I'm at the post office mailing off our whopper credit card payments and I type the numbers in and ... "Invalid Pin"... "Invalid Pin" over and over again. After work I went to Costco for a 30lb. block of cheese and the same thing happened again. I CAN'T remember a 4-digit number that I've known and used seamlessly for 3 months. No idea. It's gone. It's been deleted. Are the spiders deleting shit from my brains while I sleep? I think it's a conspiracy.

1. dumpsurfing: The act of surfing the internet while "dumping" feces into the toilet.
2. pon' far: 1) a condition in the fictional Star Trek universe that induces the desire to mate in an adult Vulcan. The concept debuted in the 1967 episode "Amok Time", written by Theodore Sturgeon.

Although Vulcans live strictly by the dictates of logic, their veneer of civilization is ripped away from them during pon'far, every seven years (for males; an undisclosed interval for females) of their adult life. Once triggered, Vulcans must have sexual contact with someone, preferably their mate, or else face insanity and death. Vulcans are, however, also capable of engaging in sexual relations at any time they wish; it is only during pon'far that they must mate (or die).

2) The human female menstrual cycle.

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