Friday, September 29, 2006

Dane Cook needs to get the fuck away from me.

Why am I suddenly seeing this (to quote my friend Clayton) "Asspock" everywhere all of the sudden?

Why is he in my fucking face every 15 seconds? Why did he have an HBO series? Why is he the lead in a movie? Who is this fuck?

He's no Ryan Reynolds, is all I'm saying.

He's NOT funny. He's NOT clever. He's not even cute, so what the hell?

This is exactly like the rise of 50 Cent. No one ever heard of that clown until Mtv shoved him in our faces with "specials" and "interviews" like non-stop. How does one with so little talent get so much pre-fame publicity? How does it work? I really want to know.

Now there are a million of these "rappers" and I used quotes because yelling, "HUH?...WHAT!!?" does not constitute rapping in my book...but, as I was saying there are a million of these cunts running around Mtv acting like we should know who they are. "Chicken Noodle Soup...Chicken Noodle Soup....Chicken Noodle Soup with a soda on the siiiide." You've got to be fucking kidding me.

Back to Dane Cook...Who's dick did he chow? Or...did he use the "Most popular girl" spell from Teen Witch? My mind wants to know...and then wants to banish his talentless ass back to obscurity.


Anonymous said...

I think it's funny that you copied that image from npr's website. My 17 year old brother has been talking about said "asspock" for at least the last year, so I know he's been around for that long, and, don't hate me, but Tourgasm had some pretty funny moments.

James said...

My opinion is very similar. I've seen this guy's name bandied about for the last couple of years, and I was never able to understand why otherwise discerning people thought he was funny.

And I still don't. Because he's not.

It's apparently still true that one can make a career in the entertainment industry by substituting volume and intensity for quality.

Anonymous said...

Wow I am so happy Tracy that you posted your comment on this cock-sucking bitch. Because obviously that is what he has been doing for the past year to get these gigs on HBO or he's blackmailing some high executive with some kind of child porn ring that this exec is involved in. I happened to turn on HBO the other day and this fuck was doing his comedy routine and I have to tell you I watched it for 15 minutes and I couldn't even laugh once. It was honestly the dumbest comedy routine I ever heard and to make the situation even worse I was amazed to see that this fag (and he really does walk and talk like a fag) sold out a 20,000 seat stadium and these morons and that's exactly what they are fucking morons were laughing at his stupid jokes. I mean this guy is just saying stupid things that everyday people go through everyday and these morons were laughing at that. I really don't know what hole this guy crawled out of but I wish we could shove him back in and drop a bunker buster on it to confirm that he will never crawl out of it again. I really appreciated and agreed with your thoughts on this fargin icehole, keep up the good journalism :-)PD