Pizza rolls are the devil's testicles

My insides are burning. My stomach is turning over on itself and the taste, despite two pieces of gum will not get out of my mouth.
They always seems like a good idea, but they do me wrong, man...they do me wrong. First of all...the gummy outer-crust promises pizza goodness until you bite down. No matter how long you wait, the pizza roll's guts will burn the living shit out of your tongue. Then, the instant you swallow these pepperoni filled pustules, your stomach will commence in eating itself. DIE PIZZA ROLLS. DIE!!!