Wednesday, May 04, 2005

Dear creepy asshole who accosted me at the bus stop and tried to take my dollar,

Look, I was annoyed enough that someone was going to be standing at the bus stop with me, but then you had to had to ignore the universal "I have headphones on" rule and fucking talk to me. I thought you were going to ask a normal question, like the time or when the bus came, but nooooo....
You sidled up, waaay too close and asked,
"Why ya' look so aggravated?"
"Excuse me?"
"Why ya' look so pissed off?"
---um, could it be because some creepy asshole with a huge, dirty beard is invading my personal space and interrupting the 2nd verse of "I like big butts?"
"You's the morning," I say, but wish I'd just said, "fuck off, dude."
"Oh yeah...ya' goin' to school?"
---none of your fucking business.
"No, I'm going to work."
"Ahhh, where ya work at?"
---what the fuck?
"I work at the university."
---it's big and it's vague.
"Yeah, I wash windows for a living man, so I'm just enjoying life."
"Is there another coffee shop around here, because that one on the corner said they do their own windows."
---ahh, I see.
"Yeah, there's one up about two blocks."
"So, when does the bus come?"
---thank Christ I can see the bus turning the corner.
"In about 35 seconds."
"Hey, can I have a dollar?"
---ah hah!
"Ya know, I don't have any cash on me."
He laughs.
"Well, I saw you take some fucking cash from your bag and put it in your pocket right before I came over here."
"Excuse me?"
"I know you gots some fucking cash, man."
Now I'm pissed.
"Well, it's my fucking bus fare, man."
I lied.
"Yeah, sure whatever lady...I just want a cup of coffee."
"Well, I'm sorry I've got to get to work, don't I?"
"Whatever bitch. Fuck man."
Then you walked off. You weren't even taking the mothertrucking bus. GAH!!
This is why I hate people.

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