You know Spider, you're a fuckin' mumbling stuttering little prick. You know that?

What the fuck, you guys?
I'm in the shower. It's a hair-washing day, I grab my yellow towel off the back of the toilet and flip my hair over to start wrapping it up. I hear something THUMP and I'm not fucking kidding...it was loud. I look down and see this HUGE. HAIRY. THUMPY. SPIDER. STARING. AT. ME.
I grabbed the Suave conditioner, whomped him and ran squealing from the bathroom.