Monday, April 18, 2005

Home improvements, The Amityville Horror and Malcolm X

What the fuck are you looking at?

This is basically what Stanley did all weekend. Lars was digging up the mud pile next to our house, I painted our front door and Stanley laid around in the grass, chewing on the pizza that his auntie Shannon brought him.
The painting of the door didn't quite go as planned. I was going to paint it red and install new hardware, but after discovering that our door frame is made of splintering/rotting wood and not being able to take the damn thing off of it's hinges, I had to re-examine. You see, everything about our house is either crooked, installed wrong or ill fitting. Our front door is all three.
Finally, I decided that I would just paint the fucker on it's hinges, which meant just repainting it white. It does look better and I'm trying not to think about the gozillion dollars we're going to have to eventually spend on a new door AND frame. Sigh.
But, the good news is...we have a wasps nest in our awning. A motherfuckingwaspcolony to be more accurate. I hosed down our house and must have flooded the little buggers out, because in a matter of minutes we had about 80 little, buzzing friends swarming our front porch.
Oh and did I mention that I'm allergic?
Home owning is fun.
Just ask the Lutz's.
We saw the Amityville Horror remake over the weekend and I don't think Lars is ever going to let me watch a haunted house movie again. I swear that our basement told me to "geeetttt oooooooouuuut." It did, okay?
By Sunday night we were so damn exhausted (what with all the fixin' up and the calling the priest to exorcise our house and all) we settled in to watch a movie. We watched Malcolm X, which I've never seen. Not exactly a no-brainer, cake & ice cream movie, but it was really good and for about 3 hours I almost forgot that I fucking hate Denzel Washington.
Now, it's Monday and I've got to get to work. I've been avoiding it, because I've been having tremendous gas pains all morning. I've never actually wanted to fart at work before, but it would be nice.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Breanna lives! She needed some place to hang out after they tore down her tree next to the Spori!