Dear stanky whore who mad-dogged me at 7-11,

Look, I'm sorry that it's 7:45 in the morning too, but I got to the burny 7-11 coffee before you, okay? I can't help it that I'm in a silly mood, or that my boyfriend's so cute, or that I take 3 splendas and 3 amaretto creamers, or that I can't get the silly lid on fast enough to get out of your way before you bark, "Excuse me," but mean, "Excuse you!"
Sit and spin, lady. Sit. and. spin.