Tuesday, February 22, 2005

I have officially jumped my own shark

I just ordered this book, Buff Brides. I swear to god that I won't start posting my current weight at the beginning of each post or start using the word, "fuckwit" a lot...or begin feigning a British accent for that matter. Ok, I might say fuckwit and British accents are sexy so...
I dunno folks. While taking photos of myself in the mirror sporting various potential wedding hairstyles with an ivory half-slip pulled up over my boobs I realized some things: 1. I have officially reached a truly embarrassing stage in my life and 2. I really want to try and shape up a bit before the big day.
I've never been one to obsess over my weight. I've always just been chubby. Sometimes I'm okay with it and sometimes I'm not. Over the past 30 years I've been called various creative names like; fat, fat ass, fat girl and fatty and I've endured comments/ situations like these:

*Yelled at Lars during a traffic altercation*
"Fuck you AND your fat wife!"
*my reply*
"We're not married!"

*In a review of my band*
"The drummer needs to lay off the twinkies."

*On a former friend's blog*
"She really is fat now."

*At the grocery store I am the subject of a "Hey, it's your girlfriend" joke between friends.*
"Ew, I don't do fat chicks."

*And perhaps the most painful, from my dad.*
"Why do you even bother wearing make-up if you're going to be fat?"

The kicker is, I'm not really that fat and here's the thing: those comments might ding my self esteem, sure...how could they not? But, I'm okay with myself and I think that's what pisses these people off the most. Folks really hate a confident fat girl.
Perhaps it's the being ok with myself bit that makes me want to attempt a healthier lifestyle. I mean, I know that contrary to the popular belief about us chubbs, I'm not holed up in a lair like fucking Jaba, being fed by a rat through a tube (though I'm not opposed to this arrangement in the future).

1 comment:

ORF said...

Word, Sistah! Word. I think being called "Fat bitch" in like seventh grade was the worst. On the upside, I often solicit comments like the one I heard recently: "Damn, girl! You got a ass like a black woman!" It can be gratifying in a way...